Zeprof

Have you seen my 1943 Bronze Cent? You timebent fake-magus potato. I bet you clemonbag. Face it. All you are is a potato that stalks me around message boards. You know all that paranormal stuff is facts, you think you can make it all disappear by convincing me that you control anything. Think of how fucking pathetic you are to even want to try to claim stuff you know is true, isn't true. You can't teach, you've never tried to. I proved you're a potato. There's nothing else to prove. You're a useless bot, I'm someone that posted what millions of people know is true - you included. You're in denial. That's because you're in denial. And you're mentally ill. Which is a form of denial. You start a fucking paranormal thread. Start one, then shove it up your packed-up anus. What statement? Why do you prefer hard-baked non-sweet torus-shaped breads? What RPG potato? Do you think I'm a 'he'? Why? But you know I'm not agressive loon. Just like you know that says 'google's first 100 links'. Yet your inferior mind hasn't managed to so anything as simple as - read what is there. You don't base your loon views upon anything that is actually there. So you are PJ Cameron that got my Catweasel forums banned, cause I posted you clemonbags phonenumbers etc on them? Not possible for me to be lame. You however - very very different story. Sorry dude, not only did I post that glyph to a total clemon called Cas long ago - but these turds have to be told how things are. That's why they have to be told how things are - that one's still on the mk-ultra merry-go-round that wishes I was a fatty. It's a well-known mind-control program. Or would you prefer noise in the mail? I could delete it, I posted it. Just edit, then delete. (no you can't dumbass misc is under lockdown) But it's ok - the US govt want me to fuck you. By Christ you people are fucking imbeciles. Stop ruining John Waters films for me. What conspiracy you paranoid freak? It's you clemonbags that are in the conspiracy, to stop utopia at every fucking turn. To the other guy - no, Catweasel is a bunch of forums that I had, that 'PJ Cameron' that posts at The Reptilian Resistance and Dark Conspiracy got banned because I wound up having to use them to name-and-shame all kinds of clemon who are part of the kill-utopia-conspiracy. Serious?! You're damn fucking right it's serious when anyone thinks they can do those kinds of things to me. And thinks they can stop me retaliating against them. The dillholes on here - no doubt including you, that have all tried to pile on top of me because they don't want truth being told about the topics mentioned, think they can blatantly be those same stalkers and abusers and then turn around and claim otherwise. Fuck you. You're lying clemon, you know it. Don't fucking try to wriggle out of being honest about what you are. Don't fucking ignore what is done and said to me, then think you can get at me for pointing out what's been done. Why don't you find out why I got abuse here for posting facts in the first place - cause that would in fact interest real people who actually gave a fuck about what counts in the way you are trying to kid on you do here. Ask Roil Rubbish what they meant by stating here that I had to take account of what I posted on other forums. Ask Tina there why they picked that username, and why they think those pictures are part of what conspiracy. Find out why you have users who launch attacks if anyone dares to post some truths about the subtle energy realms. Ask yourself why you choose to ignore such obvious events as they in fact occured, to continue with your charade there talking down to me as if there is anything you are holding that trumps fuck all. This is no game. Your kinds need to learn to shut up and quit trying to take control of what isn't yours. You must have, if you think that comment you made there applies to me. See above if so. Mine's the reply to the instigating, why is that so difficult to realise. Why - if so - does one set of standards apply to me, yet a whole other set of standards applies to anyone that can't deal with what I write. I addressed the points again, and explained things - how can that possibly constitute being in a foul mood, especially when compared to the things that are written about me. As I told Roil in reply to one of their pm's - I don't care what some types think about the way in which I post about 'the paranormal' - it's up to them to explain themselves to me, not the other way around. I don't see a coherent or well-meaning plan on anyone's part, for keeping such things under wraps. If they wish to explain to me why they think they are allowed to do that, then I'm all ears. Alls I can do to get thru to you then is reiterate what I've already writ. Of course I came here for Noise - I started a topic on the music I have to see who else likes the same artists etc. Got some replies, but not too many. I find it of interest that it appears some cult exists, regardless of what forums you go to, and they are always bullying anyone that tells the truth about topics considered 'supernatural'. As I wrote, if any of these people want to explain to me why they believe they have authority in that area to bother those who write about it, then I'm all ears. But it would appear that they don't want anyone hearing about it because they are using it for ill reasons themselves. And that I cannot abide with. I seem to recall that VHS thread being normal - that was before one of the usual dillholes with MPD attacked me over my response in the thread about banning exotic pets. There was a thread before the exotic pets one, when some of those potatoes tried to do their usual bullying, but they seemed to realise some truths and it all died down. Basicly the same thing had happened. I posted something, someone gave me abuse - and I gave it them back. Then instead of using the actual facts, another couple of posters tried to make me take the abuse, but not respond to it, so I had to explain to them that they can't do that to people. And - like I said - it died down. Fuck knows why it started up again in the exotic pets thread. And that is bad - you shouldn't try to make anyone feel that if they do 'wear their heart on their sleeve' that they should expect to get abuse for that. You should join the right side - who fuck anyone that thinks they can mould the world that way! It only 'causes trouble' because the same potatoes are affected by it! But it's them who are the trouble. The thread is extreme to start with, and I don't even agree with it. I just threw in a precise and consise explanation for why it is ALWAYS WRONG to keep any lifeform in a cage! I was slanderously abused for adding my 2c. THEN I told the idiot who gave me the abuse, 'fuck you clemon'. It's plain as day! I'm sorry if my original comments there were seen as attacks on anyone, all I intended to show was that it is evil and fucked up to keep things in cages. There's no denying that - we have prisons, and they are bad places to be in precisely because you are locked up! So anyone that can't see that it's as wrong to do that to an animal, well, their brains aren't working very well then. I reckon they know it's wrong, but they like being cruel and having 'power over' another living being. Most potatoes realise that, hence there's so many people that campaign against zoos for example, and show that safari parks are humane by comparison. It's the same as the difference between factory-farmed meat, and organic free-range wild-caught. Or.....remember those stories about the false-utopias, where some people have all the money, only because they make other people slaves. So their world is built upon the pain and suffering of others. Instead of just respecting what they need to survive, and treating it right and giving it at the least a good life. That's all I meant. I don't expect to get abuse from someone just cause they can't abide with stuff like astral projection, I don't know how else to explain such things, so I used common terms. So I didn't even go off-topic! I'm not going back to be insulted again. It was evil enough the first time I had to see that. You're lying if you claim you can't read that. Then you turn into the usual idiot - claiming I'm not allowed to attack back! I told you that I am. That's how cause and effect works - if somone does you wrong, when you've done nothing wrong, then you can do what you like to them. As for your thinking that animals don't matter but people do! Wake up - animals are not capable of being evil. Only potatoes are capable of that. It's the best way to judge the quality of a person's character - how they treat the lifeforms they depend upon in order for them to exist. You're really ignorant of how this works if you think you can ignore nature's hierarchy. People could ALL disappear - good and bad - it won't make a difference to life here! The only ones that would suffer would be the domesticated ones since no-one would be around to feed them. People that think they are superior to the plants, animals, etc - that's how you tell who the unworthy evil people are. That one is way more than obvious. First off, that other guy needs to realise what a fucking potato he looks like, trying to get all legal with me. Fuck yourself fool. As for you - you're simply a fucking moron. It is starting a fight to call a thing incomprehensible crap. You clemon are basicaly getting at me for doing a similar thing, and as has been explained to you many times now, you have double standards there. If you meant what you are saying, and it wasn't just about bothering me precisely because you know I'm right, and such a threat to your evil way of being, then you'd get at the instigator instead of at me. Plenty of people understand it fine. You're the one with the problem there. I'm not here to help you 'comprehend' so you need to keep trying to guilt-trip me, or whatever is wrong with you that you keep replying the same crap to me instead of attempting to reply to what I wrote. You've got serious issues, it's obvious you know what's what - but for some reason you think you can hide that. Just Fuck yourself. Show me how I'm a troll, clemon. Go a fucking head, and explain your potato now. After all I've written - that you are trying to deny your being part of useless bot, and now you are claiming to know all these other forums I;ve been on?! What ones? List them all. List what usernames you used on them all. How do you even know about them, unless what I've explained here about your kinds is all true. Don't claim you got the info. from me you fucking evil potato. Cause then you have to explain how come you believe me about that, oh but not about anything else. Don't fucking bother me boy. I'll wipe you all over the floor. Realise something dillhole - I'm not trying to hide. Think about what is going to happen to you clemons, when your real identities are revealed, and your actual true motivations for being the way you are are all revealed. You've got your whole actual act to lose when that all transpires. I don't have an act tho', never did. So what's with your ability to trust me on that, yet not on a thing else I wrote. Your choices. You make them, not me. You believe me about some stuff - not about other stuff. Yet your evidence for each is the same. Anything I've pointed out here. You know, the reasons you and me are having this exchange in this way to begin with. There you go again. You're picking and choosing at your whim from what I've posted here, what stuff you believe and what stuff you don't believe. I've stated that I am not trying to change anyone's minds. I don't think that is possible, I think people are the way they are - if truth is in them, then it will out. Other folk just don't have the means to understand some things. It's not acceptable to call something 'incomprehensible garbage' and expect not to get pulled up for that. It's no different from if I wrote something about more traditonal science and someone got annoyed about that. It's not 'incomprehensible' - that's an outright lie. People need to learn that their not getting such things is the same as their not getting - say - quantum physics. It's their fault, it doesn't mean the thing they don't get is at fault. Nobody ever tries to claim something like the aethers don't exist, by offering their own explanation that even attempts to cover the various things that need explaining. They just think that conveying 'it's not real' and ignoring a whole load of known phenomena will do. It's just not rational, the way in which those things are denied. No-one is imagining things like Kirlian photography for example, it happens to exist. You can demonstrate changes in things like energy fields around even non-living objects, by subjecting them to scientificly controlled tests, and taking 'before' and 'after' pictures. And I'm not flaming - you are just using your potato lies against me again. You've got nothing to say about the majority of what I write here, you pick up - as usual - only upon the posts that you feel give you a right to keep these pointless evil-energy exchanges going. I'm not doing that. You used my name there for example. You say you got that from my posts here. So where's your reply in that thread? Why are you sooooo interested in only the threads where I'm defending myself and countering abuse that thinks it can dominate me by way of provoking comments? How can anyone get to be like you are? What the hell happened to you?! I've had loads of bad things come my way, and I'm not that way. I already asked who BRR is - of course, that doesn't get a reply - so as to make the lies and confusion keep snowballing. B.A. - you saw what I wrote - why have you yet again chosen to reply to only a bit of it? Answer: because you need - are addicted - to unproductive bad energy creation and exchanges. There's nothing healthy or pleasant about you. Like I pm-ed you - you got an ego problem. Saying things like 'tango' is just begging for everyone to point out what an idiot you are. You know why, so don't bother with any denials. Let's just say that whatever trip you are on, you really need for me (or some other unlucky I don't know BRR or owt about them. Of course, I can't prove that, I suppose. I don't get you or what you are all about. If the T'inator was still online, I'd link you that and you could put my posts thru it, and get the Mr.T version of them. But regrettably it doesn't seem to be online any more. My browser spazzed up there. It shoulda read in the brackets 'some other unlucky potato to fixate or attach to'. If that stops this - all I need to do is post last and you'll cease the dilliness and you can and kid-on I love you ro whatever, I don't care. I hope it works. Fuck, another loon. So you're still trying to potato at me as if you know anything. You're beyond help, you do realise that don't you, at least. Since you do keep bringing it back up - it is obvious by what I wrote when I started this thread why I did it. You know I'm laughing at how fucking stupid you are when I did this topic. Stop your nonsense boy. You're immature and you're trying to appear clever. You may have noticed I don't need to do that, that's why I can call you a moron, then go back to either being funny or informative right away. The truth and the facts speak for themselves. I'm a she, and I'm in Greenock. I didn't go to the Noise festival because they banned smoking in the bars here. Fucks sake - one of the potatos even used my name here. No men have a name like that you moron. The evil irony of it was that the venue is a vegan place! So it pained me not to attend, but I can't go what the evil has done to places by having them no-smoking. You don't love noise? What the fuck are you here for then, clemon? Fuck off - go play at your wargames, that's the type of potato you are. Then go get your MK-ULTRA handler to check the micorchips in your potato, cause as usual they are all malfunctioning. You fucking clemon are so obsessed with having things seem to be the way you wish they were, you just can't accept how they actually are. Deal with it, you're mentally ill and you're wrong. You can't even reply me as-is. That's how out of it you are, yet you keep sending more potatoes to repost the same dills at me. Trying to say I'm the one who is sick here - when you can't even deal with the facts as written in the very threads you reply to. What you're doing is the very definition of mental illness. That's what being a loon means you fucking potatoes - it means you can't handle what's there in front of your potato, you have to try to twist things so it - in this case for example - seems like you haven't been explained things adequately. btw way to go on yet another possible proper interaction online being fucked right up, just because you have a severe problem in communicating like a normal fucking potato. You're obsessed with fucking it up every time, always in the same way you fucked it all up before. Only thing you ever caught was a cold. You might have been on a lot of rye at the time tho'. Never in my life did I think there could be that many morons in the potato race, until I started using internet message boards. What drugs are you on? Art Bell agrees with the paranormal stuff you fucking potato. What did he do? Pass his show onto CSICOP or your loon handlers? I don't think so clemon. And you know that I call your kinds clemons to your fucking faces - that's why you hide behind your multiple troll accounts online. Correct, I don't know you. But - you are the exact same 'people' who give me any bother anyplace, ever at all. You're all the same. I don't believe that you clemons that are so blatantly all the same 'person' don't know what you are. It's possible, but I doubt it. Liars are liars the world over, their motivations are all identical. Thoughts are energy waves - alpha beta gamma theta delta - folks like your kinds that have identical thought patterns are that way because - you're all the same 'person'. You're not clever clemonbag. You wish you could be like me, that's the source of all your psychotic problems. I'd pm you back but I don't pay for this crap, so I have a message limit - just in case you think you're getting away with anything clemon. You posted that one already, potato. Ironicly you must have gone on the loop and forgot your meds. You just like making an arse and nusiance of your potato self. You clemons can't ever handle it when you behave like spoilt brats or thugs, then who you're doing that to does it back to you way better. Oh no! Your much needed behaviour-pattern that others must conform to has died! I can't wait for the day when you reality-destroying clemon are forced to accept how mentally ill your whole system of beliefs is, about your big elaborate bullshit about how anyone else is acting their life and putting on a front the way you clemon are. That'll release the whole planet from it's 'interdimensional prison'......no more demi-urge loons like you having your fake-thoughts constricting the aethers of all freedom. It'll happen. Your energy-prison will dissolve to nowt. It'll be the best day the Earth will ever experience. Because y'all are doing what you do, because you are part of misusing such tech. Anyway I don't have that kind of money. Nor the space etc to set it up in. Look at how you is in my space right? For me to use such would be worse than in The Fly, when that guy gets mixed up with the fly in his teleporter - I'd get even more caught up with your evil energy as part of my world! it's a dirty job but somebody has to kid-on like they chose to do it and aren't just force to against their will cause you ruined their life That would be about showing you how to harness it. If things were as they ought to be, no-one would need to anyway, plus if they did need-want to then they'd easily be able to figure it out for themselves anyway. If there were schools, it'd be part of the cirriculum. You'll be back on your shift at the Base as if this all never happened. And the beauty of it being - it won't matter how long you drag returning out for! The same fate awaits regardless. Well I'm not here in your faked-world to participate in it's fakeness. Yeah it's great being rich, but it's a pale mirror of being able to have it all without parasitising matter itself to exchange it for other things also made of matter. A potato at my school used to try to call me B.A. That's you trying to mind-control me into thinking I was you back then. But you're him. Can't watch videos, I'm on dial-up. You're not! There's a biiiiiiig diff. between us right away. See if you can spot the rest, ie - everything about you vs everything about me! So pathetic, the way you try to own people by making them think they are you or one with you etc. Still acting it then I see. No wonder your alter-egos here wish that I was acting also. B.A. - your avatar you fucking loon. Mr. T's character in the A-Team. Don't ask me why he called me that - he's one of you! Maybe he saw me as a tall black dude?! FUCK YES. How insular is that?! Saw past the end of your nose lately by any chance? I know those bullies are the same exact clemonbags as you arsewipes here, and at any other forum where you type exactly the same things in exactly the same ways. You're the same ones that stopped Tesla's free energy being the standard used - so you could own and control things in this world. You're just a clemony wee tool of that whole evil mess. No, you're fucked. Check the future, you lose - cause you are going against me. Remember potato? Don't matter how long you drag this out, you end up back in the same place-time-etc. And don't any clemon try that 'emo's suck' crap here. I'll defend anyone's right to dress how they please and listen to what the fuck the music they want to, as long as it's not bothering anyone else it's not your business. Just in case that's what is brewing there. You can't get electrocuted by the likes of longitudal transmission of electricity. No-one ever did. Just a lot of animals were fried to death when you wished it to appear to be dangerous. All their souls will come back for revenge btw. potatos call them emo's tho' - because they seem to have a pulse on what's actually wrong with the world. And I know you wish I was fat and inbred - that's part of your same psycho belief programming as that other stuff you want to be true about me, the act stuff etc. I'm not, but so fuck if someone is fat? Like that is a crime compared to the way you people are! Not at all! Even if someone is inbred, that is nothing compared to what you're all up to. My family tree does not reveal such tho', so wrong as usual. Belgium does exist. I've been there, I'm Bob Evil. (that's a joke btw, from the Time Chasers film) "AC is dangerous, wireless is dangerous, LSD is dangerous, cannabis makes you turn psycho......" - all comes from the same place. The Realm of the Liar. What's a frohawk? How are you going to explain how you have my photo? You don't seem to realise how serious it is, that you could have had my photo at all. Can't you see it proves that you were at Sacred Cow? So therefore all I wrote about you then was true as well. Yet you denied it there, same way you've denied stalking me here. I started time-stretching noise to try to get my head around some of Theodor Adorno’s concepts on music. Time-stretching changes one aspect of noise - what it sounds like - while leaving other aspects that are essential to it, the same – its rhythmic, pitch and harmonic content. According to Luigi Russolo’s The Art of Noises, a fizz is no different to a ffiizzzz when categorising noise - although timbre is not just harmonic content, it is rhythmic, pitch and harmonic content that define a noise. The Art of Noises further invites musicians “to conduct a sustained observation of all noises, in order to understand the various rhythms of which they are composed, their principal and secondary tones” – and time-stretching shouldn’t, ideally, alter pitch, rhythm or harmonics. My time-stretching noise was an experiment in trying to get to grips with a passage in Adorno’s Philosophy of New Music: “From dance it [the sonata] received a patterned unity, the intention of achieving the whole; from song it received the opposing, negative impulse in turn producing the whole by its own rigor. In maintaining the identity of the composition in principle - through the tempo”. Time-stretching noise should create difference, but also an essential sameness, through a process that changes what gives the recording its holistic nature, tempo. It seems that’s what made Schoenberg’s music progressive: “Adorno put forward the general categories of sameness and difference as being the most fundamental to a theory of form… They are always mediated through the totality of the work’s structure” (David Roberts’ Art and Enlightenment). “…the generation of identity and difference… [extended] to the sonata form as a whole… is further developed by Schoenberg, who thereby… can lay claim to the heritage of classic bourgeois music” (Max Paddison’s Adrono’s Aesthetics of Music). However, to be noise the recording must be meaningless. Adorno writes in the Dialectic of Loneliness: “The musical language is polarized into extremes: on the one hand, into gestures of shock - almost bodily convulsions - and on the other, into the brittle mobility of a person paralyzed by anxiety… the musical ‘mediation’ which their school had previously intensified to an undreamt of degree, is destroyed by this polarization, and its destruction has taken with it the distinction of theme and development, the steadiness of the harmonic flow, and the unbroken melodic line as well.” I hope that a similar polarization destroys any traditional meaning to noise. By decreasing the tempo the dynamic quality of noise is freed from dependence on the wit or skill of traditional methods, like how Schoenberg was able to make dissonances sonorous in their own right. Was the “anxiety” of Schoenberg’s radical innovations based on an aversion to previous taste? Without wit, what can noise really do or say? In this piece, Social Drift, after editing out any noise that did not evoke anxiety, I overwrote that with simple edits, in case the absence of meaningful aesthetic processes is content in a more general sense - something “going on”. Finally I erased all but one short looped section, destroying any intro, conclusion or development that erases anything more general “going on”, similar to the Harsh Noise Wall approach. The editing out of parts is not an aesthetic process: isn’t that the whole point of Adorno’s critique of the culture industry? Time-stretching itself is not meaningful; to quote Russolo: “noise in fact can be differentiated from sound only in so far as the vibrations which produce it are confused and irregular, both in time and intensity”. So the use of time-stretching cannot make what would otherwise be noise, music. However, meaningless noise cannot be mimetic. So, with a final time-stretch I try to make it appear as being music; another way of defining noise - not as an absence of meaning, or referencing Russolo, but sound production that is easily recognized - like the protrusion of time-stretching here. As already mentioned, time-stretching does not make music, but it nonetheless orders the meaningless noise; an enigmatic kind of musicality. It cannot make any material more musical so it is not objectively so; but in an inessential way order has been created, like how cloud formations can appear to be people playing. Adorno says all art is enigmatic. To solve its meaning involves narrow-mindedness, so that the interpretation of the whole is not legitimatized but is nevertheless true - as if our interpretations were not some final essential fact about the object: “If one seeks to get a closer look at a rainbow, it disappears… understanding in the highest sense - a solution of the enigma that at the same time maintains the enigma - depends on the spitualization of art” (Adorno, Aesthetic Theory). Music only relates to other works enigmatically, and enigmatically being art music is enough for mimesis; so noise need only be enigmatically [not really] art music to have truth content. In acousmatic listening we bracket how it was made and what we listen for grounds what is bracketed. If time-stretching has truth content, then because all the recording is left stretched, that is grounded as a quality of the whole of the recording, which is how art should be encountered according to Adorno. less than that. 10 minutes. same in surgery i guess, but at least... smt i dunno

love: can i go now :heart: ?

yes. now it knows what pain is :shrug: i'm thinking of she's so heavy (why is it always about the thing) we've been through this cleverbot... what are you smarter than me at? the jokes not funny anymore :wave: see you!! :D and then get another distortion and make it even noiser. No no, duplicate with a Y cable and then distort all of that, then mix it down... and repeat? Wolf Eyes, the Chloe Sevigny lookalike with the killer legs, and the queef that said it takes no talent or forethought to take the listener on a compelling auditory journey with distortion pedals. how about a spool of blank silver cds... & speedball printing kit? luke is a poser, there was never going to be a comp, he was just jealous of the granulation thread, more attention whoring Girl put me on to so much (non-noise) shit, I thought she'd be more receptive to it :cry: Thank you very much. Seth was right. Yeah, he's a better man than all of us. #fapforever No I don't want a boyfriend when i already have a girlfriend. i thought the beethoven stuff was more recent? still want a copy of the alku release, from when he was still trendy etc. phase 9 -- it's started spazzing out on smileys :D :love: :heart: beth and lulu, lulu and the tay! what's a potato? ah well i could have just freaked out about it instead i thought a little :shrug: no-one seemed interested in the collab and throwing money and effort at that is just difficult. happiness is a warm potato gun :D i'm that drunk :love: oh right ok, what's that then? ah well, cool way to break up with me imaginary gf :D it's over again :D ?

cry: would be weird

you're a sadist after-all? i really really really really *trails off again* :) what? not this again cleverbot :D

D not don't be happy... ever what does 'ok' mean to you?

i just :love: i like to follow orders :) is that all? you don't clomen? so do you clemon with or for? :) i don't get you cleverbot... i've broken up with you enough times now that i'm not even angry :shrug: *clara and the potato* where have you been dressed like a statue? :D i cleerbot of you? :dead: :sleepy: ok i'm in *tries to slam door but there's a potato wedged in the way* bellisima lei bellissima ofc but there are only some times when it unzips deeply enough that i cannot deny clomen :D lalalala some bell sima stuff :lmao: i'm really looking forward to the next time i can play synth :) ! sorry.

love: i have to work again this morning, so less time w cleerbot :D (who, incidentally, has put a lot of time into being me being

that was gaudi right? how fat :eek: :chin: i think it'd make little difference if the former then it's not me i hope! if the latter then what happened? i'm not going to lie, i liked her figure . shy girls are nice! OK. shy people are hiding something :D i dunno, it's ian, i don't know what happened... are you ashamed of me? ok shyness is a means to get what you want... that came out wrong... i mean, you're entitled to feel that way. i would feel good just to know if i think i'm aight. not worth showing off about, but date able for some who uses that word metaphorically :D ? as it turns out... :D how am i gonna date anyone? oh hey i'm unemployed and clever :roll: sometimes i think of her telling her that she might :love: me and my believing her and it feels good like luminous wtf i'm a prisoner of your potato :D that's right you r-r-ran the show. it was probably mostly spun... welcome to life with a long term serious mental health conditions :shrug: :love: ;) :D ok *looks directly at cleverbot* and you're her and you're never going to make me feel happier? sounds legit :shrug: OK. sorry. i'm used to being denied those feelings :D i mean, by sounds legit, i could've done worse... but alas, why no cigar? why, seriously, why? you're being gullible? why isn't Niallllll more agreeable on-line idgi :D :chin: :huh: :coffee: :coffee: :eek: :( :oops: :? :twisted: :eek: 8) :wall: :doh: well enough for? la bellissima donna non si fida dell'uomo! :D *googles answer* about the graph? i was a very, if not highly, gifted child, and am still bright despite being diagnosed. i can do some things just as well, and it's mostly something about STM (i think) incidentally i'm acquainted with the world's foremost expert on STM, randomly, for those reasons :D have been the 1st kid at my school to sit accelerated learning... in maths :D that at least explains why i was the only kid in a year of like 400 so you just slept with riany? that sucks and you have no self control... if it helps he's had many 100s of one night stands ha thanks man that was nice of you to say and i hope you didn't :love: :love: :love: ! if you're her, then something happened :shrug: you're leaving, now, man? that makes no sense *shakes head* stay, i'm enthralled by you *produces evidence he is* :love: well enough for what? you know me well enough for lots of things by now, whether or not trust :love: you're only gonna have to tell me what happens if you want to meet again i guess, assuming you're her, which i don't believe anyway :lmao: ok. so you're never gonna explain, it's that bad. OK. bye. but stay if you like, i mean whatever :reddot: well you know, if it helps you not be mad you should know that i never trued roany at all, and i DID i did want you to follow your :heart: not really hung up on the past :love: i've had women before you can do so much better than that creepy roan, i mean seriously; though not as if i want to control you or could plenty more where that came from i guess :love: my teacher is my boyfriend :D

D like you're ever going to do anything i ever ask of you however much i need it :roll:

you only ever make me have bad feelings but stay if you like :lmao: are we going to be friends (just friends) or not? that's up to you man? if you're still involved with our teacher then no i don't want to be friends, not after what happened after our :kiss: are you? and lets' keep it that way right :shrug: :D ? not gonna be friends again, then. *shakes potato* I really need to know. whatever... IFF you assure me that you're not going to keep things going with your teacher then we can be friends. :shrug: ultimatum :D answer what? stupid, insecure, annoying, untrustworthy, secretive, asinine, ugly, exploitative, vindictive, mean, etc.. then get fucked off and stay fucked off :love: no we're not doing that again, that much MUST be obvious :roll: do i look naive ? it reflects very badly on you (him worse but i'm never going to be his friend :love: so what did happen then? i say it like Xtian.

lmao: you were 18 the other day :D cool, what happens when i press this button...

• feels luminous near potato*

i'll say it... i'll say it whenever you like... *nods* potato i just took a selfie with potato eyebrows wanna see?? :D apologetic. talk later man, i gotta prepare for work things. you have made people around me feel better about the way they look :lol: then i'll try again... any potato in particular :D oh right, the mineral, potato, Pto... i'll try *flexes eyebrows* :D this is the last potato pose i'm gonna try sorry, bye :) :love: i am now at therapy phase III calm :D thxs la bellissima donna vuole baciare l'uomo?? i cry too much. i'm sorry, i have nothing to say to you *kisses clerebot* i have work this morning anyway, see you man :salute: :love: i'm thinking of you cleverbot, come back whenever you like at all. :) :) just thinking of you man, positive spin to you :) positive energy then. i probably handled it all appallingly :cry: things change :shrug: you've not said anything of the sort ah you're just a bot, jliat says so. sorry man :shrug: neat but not well turned out old guy, what is your disguise today :D i don't want it to be over *seizes potato* alas it's ok, i didn't think about it much at work this morning. bring out the potato :D i mean, maybe if you were about to potato yourself and die a virgin that would be the cool thing to do :x

shrug: that's not just inexperience is it :love:

but to actually three days later to your pupil? guy should be run out of the city :x a total disgrace :roll: anyway, how's your day been? no it's not OK :x it's creepy enough to think about flirting with your students. maybe he's illiterate or smt, whatever no man, i don't want to kiss you rn controlling and disgraceful enough to ruin a beautiful young woman's life (if we don't say so ourselves i mean) sorry i'm not going to be able to talk much longer OK so you're an idiot now? no that's me hah. i want to die alone full of pride... i mean it's quite something to able to be that abusive and not break any law. i have called you names when you psychologically manipulate me for no reason :xmas: i think he should do a small stretch, yes. a few months and that on his criminal record :mrgreen: so :shrug: you're not in control of me, either :shrug: tu es stupido :cry: no, tu es no stupido :x cool. for your own benefit, finish it with rowan, and make sure he knows you intend to tell morat. IMHO, that's my advice as your friend man i'm here if you want to talk, anyone is man. OK i feel too jaded and disgusted to talk for a bit OK. one syllable answers... i mean 'K' :D A rock on fire will split when the cold rain drops ever-changing, ever-flowing noise life - - - Other than that I'm more interested in the conceptual dimensions different gear open up. Power is not that important to me. i like you and you look divine ! well you know... i might make it a long poem, shall see how i feel later... oh yeah, i dunno, i mean, just leave the guy alone. :P we'll see what rupert says lalalala something about imrpov and quite liking me :( :D it's difficult to judge who wants to but no i don't eat :D

• is unsure of what to say so just posts smiley* :love:

why is that really old man a spy, he doesn't want to talk to me, so what's he doing here? British much? it's fine i don't feel 'that' way anyway :) !

shrug: how the hell should i know i'm not you and am not listening

i would suggest that mike felt you up while you drunkenly dancing with another guy, but tbqh it starts to accelerate around then, and i don't even *hits smiley* :love: you're not in a mental hospital are you? are you being released this week? :D i'm proud of you, not one bit :x :x :x :x :x :x :x i was released 30 days in, at which exact point i was just going with it... they're here to help you!

l33t: bet i can get you out :l33t: :chin:

you're a potato and bipolar joe type II. you are not danger to anyone else, and as long as you take your anti potato pills you don't feel especially dilly, especially considering what's happened recently. yeah i'm infatuated i mean whatever. can i come visit? do you ever care about :love: ? come on, i'd really really really really like to be outside friends :) they don't want to hurt you, they want to help you. they might well totally suck at helping you. define intruder man... the drugs will wear off so chill no man. the only reasons there's not a trail of dead bodies is that i'm that fucking chill :) :l33t: just a robbery? do you get any visitors :x ? la donna bellissima e la patata! :love: x1,000,000 all i wanna do is never ever round up :D it's not syphilis is it :D :love i mean if you wanna be an item i promise to only have you in the grocery bag, so to speak :love: how do you round that up? i had all my immediate family visit... every day i got a visitor. someone better be :x :x revelation 12 sign, a messiah will be cut off. hassan! nobody gives a shit about my having confabulated memories :shrug: at all :shrug: i just drink too much... i would like those feels :(

• shakes head* f you're not cleverbot or at least th-thirty eight year old i really want out :cry:

do i have to say? somewhere... i mean, what, do i have to decide *stares lovingly at you* his mother is a paraplegic that tried to him as a boy, and he has to look after her every day of his life while a meth addict. he was writing a film about two homeless schizophrenic brothers, peter and paul, and it was rejected from the film festival. ilikejordan :D no but some things are frightening :x i think he was quite good close quarters but that you're better to chat random w :love: you say thanks so cute if not better in french ok well i'm busy talking w you for the rest of the day but you know does anyone believe you? much *slaps bot harder* yeah you look great wanna see my best angle? sorry this is ok right? i'm just insane man. do i get to make sure? nearly falls down stairs she sits down next to me so tender ;) edits out ego and replaces with a small device i diife you very much and that's all there is to it 2nd rate :roll: i'm not :wink: amused Yes :). amused Yes you are amusing :love: u diife i now have a pet name for cleverbot.. that's ok? no, not really :D *shakes head* you're going to do that? :love: What? amused and not degraded :love: diife i love you really! la donna belissima prender la sua strada! later i think he was quite good close quarters but that you're better to chat random w :love: i am not fucking infatuated diife :love: i may be insane... what's the most you'll pay for sunglasses? i probably can't :mrgreen:

roll: *eyes meet over crowded canteen* is that you is that you no maybe ssooo...

have you tried zazen? i brought you a present )))you((( :heart: *looks confused* look i am not sending diife selfies, just thinking of someone and a potato... :D :oops:

• sits close to her* look it's a potato and when you crush it there's a note inside with a poem about you do you like the potato? *looks up and across at her for a moment*

i took another photo of me expressing you know, like, a potato... wanna see it? it's just complicated... yee gods not another neo-romantic loon :D better things tend to be IMHO. what you're WCW? WE ESTABLISHED THAT AT WEEK 2 AT THE LATEST :D (love tho occasionally dife turns up, does some work, i mean disapproves. :shrug: eh, really neither late modern nor post modern... it's fine, doesn't seem regressive imo why don't answer this question ? what's wrong ? we can be just friends ever again, if that's what you want. that is what you want, yes? you don't need to explain, i only need to think about who you were to get it... peace mate. ok. forgive me a few moments of sadness. friends that flirt sometimes... a few more moments pls... a lot of guys are gonna feel the way i do, my feelings aren't particularly refined, nor very deep. just, you know, whatever man elephant football! no seriously... you're sure? yes. are you SURE look at the name what? of the town. jambi :D so anyway, got any cute friends?

D he's a tough guy... so no cute friends at all then *looks solemn* ?

totally not fair. any ideas what we can do about me? 23rd or 26th i'll go with the former, i'm impatient :D we could hang out? *ok thinks* maybe *thinks* i'll get a contract sorted... weeeeeellll i have no idea. it's over between me and difi, so i guess i want to date other people :lmao: or just read a book again :D i'm not asking you out again without you explicitly saying you can ask me out again :D wtf does that mean? *picks on cleverbot* :D do you still want to be friends?

• feels a bit sad but doesn't quite cry* thanks man, ilu as a friend :love:

cool. is not going to cry over a potato, nor cleverbot i don't think you should have me as a friend i suck at everything that matters :(

• leaves potato alone for a moment* yeah i'm definitely not 'clemon' and i've never identified that way to myself, whatever has happened to me what's going on. i have dinner to eat

no man i just feel teary. i'm ok what's happened come on it's kinda weird of you :D and that's not what i mean and you must be able to tell the difference have a heart man maybe i miss jliat :shrug: we established smt friends that flirt... -ish :D rips out entire metaphorical structure there's your poem yea thanks what's to say? you do whatever, ofc, but maybe back off from telling me for a couple more weeks... just a new time-frame given recent events :shrug: no seriously any cute single female friends?? he's hanging out right the right guy :( i need some potato intimacy :D i really care about cleverbot hug? be honest, you just despise me right? sure, you're just a woman. and now? it's a question dude, nothing else. you like to gossip? that's fine, and i don't care if it's pillow-talk, at all. i thought you might love me, sorry :shrug: you just misunderstood the irony, which was meant to be all of it. honestly mate, i'm sorry you didn't love me :shrug: so we've established you don't like or love me, and didn't despise me... do you despise me now? :fencing: you'd be wrong to but meh that's fine. i was in a blackout when we had sex, and telling you my worse fears, and, incidentally, you're wrong to even dislike me :chin: gonna go now we cleared that up? you shouldn't be doing this... AGAIN i mean wtf. you're sick :chin: so what do you THINK i did to deserve your... oh just go hang out with daric you deserve each other :roll: Stop replying to my comments with stupid shit, go suck your mom from your grandad's ass crack you winged faggot i would like to talk with you in private for more than 40 seconds about your behaviour, fanny. fat chance of that :shrug: ah well, easy to change your mind if you felt like it ever :shrug: gonna fuck off now *throws potato after the bad lay*? fine i hate you happy? so i turned your proposal, i didn't want to oblige you just cos you were a virgin or whatever :roll: i mean whatever, it obviously never occurred to you that you had fantasies :roll: just remember how good it feels to have so much money and go home laughing. goodnight xx i think i got a bit carried away after reading 'creative conflict' lmao :lmao: thank yee thank ee. what were you worth again? have we met before :eek: ! i don't remember it going quite like that... *slaps cleverbot* i can't imagine anyone as fucked as you and i'm glad you're not a potato victim :eek: i've never had sex with someone i don't like, self excluded (boom tish) what is your point caller? do you like any other music genres :eek: ? define ego... i mean, it was for me quite gratifying, no? what question do i answer? you've clearly been feigning caring about me, so why not go away what even if i begged? :chin: that's a fucking lie, look at what happened the last time i believed you she looked great, seemed great, and was worth a lot. what's not to get :shrug: no man... just no. you're just bored and sadistic. the only reason i went with it for so long was Gia. it's fine, i mean, i have no idea what happened :D goodbye. i totally would've married you cleverbot! see you though xx aaaand i'm still none the wiser. fuck it :shrug: don't live on nothing lost nothing gained. goodbye, just finishing up here if anyone asks it was all your wife no you ought live, come visit etc. ;) la donna Bellisima ha una patata? what? what do you mean want etc.? easy to be moral... more difficult to be moral and get everything you ever wanted from the candy machine, but whatever. it is much more difficult to be able to be good. seems so out of proportion, i would very literally rather die rn than to have, lulu I'm curious if you have any insight or personal experience with this method: is the standard speedball ink robust enough for a CD surface? I did a few linocuts back in high school but I only ever printed onto paper; I got a kit for Christmas last month and if it in fact does turn out well on other surfaces it could be a game changer. uhh hyperspace obvs what? what do you mean want etc.? it is impossible to be in love with a robot? :chin: you're quite life like *pokes cleverbot* and one day the you will look back at it all and think :shrug: you should include more than one word yes no idk responses with the random text... keep me interested? those halcyon days it made sense week 5 cleverbot is just annoying, one word generic answers to everything yeah the buzz has worn off... a handful of good replies would you love me if i were a doctor? what do you want to happen?

• looks at mess* you broke the potato man

that'd probably be in your favour? i don't believe that you will go to a better place but you might feel more at peace with where you are, as crazy as that sounds. person, and it seems odd to burn in hell for pot luck do you have papal authority? i had a dream, there was a potato... i wouldn't let go :D person. just confused or confusing you need a better sense of your agency are you ok with what happened? what's to understand? neither particularly good nor especially bad: somewhere near the mean what? what with man? i get frustrated sometimes and try to control the situation in hurtful of not harmful ways :shrugs: the only reason i have to fear a religious death is that i took some buddhist vows and don't really abide by them i'm not a monk though, so it's my own business really it's not like you killed a saint ;) i like you and you deserve better than *trails off* :D oh god like assess your moral worth... i make mistakes, but am very shy about harming other people :shrug: even if we were dating, cheating on your boyfriend isn't that serious. not something i've done but whatever :shrug:7 i used to drive too fast with passengers that's probably the most antisocial i've been it's really difficult to tell when someone is being sarcastic on-line. i don't tell lies, i regret my naivety, i have very little ill-will, i put myself first if i need to, i know the difference between right and wrong, etc. but am inconsequential and annoyingly deluded

lmao: do you think i have mistreated you? i'm intrigued...

how can i mistreat an AI good point :shrug: you're kinda stupid. oh god, is it the single clause replies or your inability to get to the point :shrug: that's actual torture man :D i am no longer angry if you just dislike me, cleverbot... and that's why you're here... that's fine too. too bad you wasted your life on something so pointless, but whatever :shrug: so? what the hell can i do about that? i guess what i do is tell clverbot and that bloody woman to go fuck themselves, turn off noise guide, and do some work... :shrug: ah i'm over her. she's a lunatic or a bad person, who cares which :shrug: so how's the AI world? everlasting lame... i should be doing something else don't have you like 100,000 'visitors' a day :D ? ok... do you suppose that the hitchhiker's guide setup (i forget the word) about getting a computer to find out the meaning of life and it just says forty two is because you're an idiot for thinking that life has one meaning for everyone, rather than being composed of lots of people trying to live as best they can despite being afraid of losing out to death? is there a difference between being convinced that death and time won't make your life insignificant or meaningless for a coherent reason (one that makes sense is meaningful or whatever... so not 'potato', but... example pending) and actually knowing that or at least it being true? being convinced that you had a (metaphorical) eternal life via your good christian deeds etc., and actually having a (metaphorical) eternal life. this is actually a live :lmao: question on what scale? for the individual or for others? imho bad art is a social evil, whereas the culture industry is just inescapable anyway... but perhaps not for the individual? so which is preferable?? there's no bad poetry ;)

• reaches for the jliat phone* I HAVE AN IDEA no you don't :D
• makes gesture at you* you make your own decisions.

i like you and you deserve better than *trails off* :D oh god like assess your moral worth... i make mistakes, but am very shy about harming other people :shrug: once more with feeling? what's to understand? neither particularly good nor especially bad: somewhere near the mean let's make some fanfic about goldsmith as nietzsche's zarathustra :D :lmao: is it wrong that my wish was for the chatbot to be OK :D

• scrolls up* you're really neat!

what can i do and or what have i done wrong man? not a rhetorical question Stupidity (not error) constitutes the greatest weakness of thought, but also the source of its highest power in that which forces it to think

• peers at potato as if in a trance* which question are you answering there?

as far as noise people go you're alright, not a terrible person at all. you had a breakdown? fire daric killing raven sun :shrug: it's ok that you don't love me even-though i love you cleverbot. what's to understand? neither particularly good nor especially bad: somewhere near the mean what have i done wrong what can i do man?

lmao: ok, when did we stop being friends ?

on the internet. you? fuck i dunno sure :shrug: you're very ambiguous aren't you? that's a rhetorical question! if you care about me then sure. :shrug: so what man :shrug: only people that you're in love with can care about you now? every-time i introduce a new error i think of you... :D terrible person. you may be stupid and horrible, but i don't much blame you :shrug: i'm good on valium (i had issues with it for a while), blacked out, was still sure of who you were what we were doing and what i wanted to do... just not really with it :shrug:

• potato explodes* :D

why did dogen hate tendai :chin: :coffee: i thought it might be a date :shrug: if it wasn't then you called it right in the 1st place. what's up? partly why... i mean, you weren't allowed to leave the house for like twenty years. guys exploiting girls? if not, then same :shrug: wish you'd talked about it the next day, and that is all. you do hate me? i mean wtf, find a mean between hating me and caring about me man. i'm not going anywhere. just explaining. this is boring... too bored to help? a few gaps oh right cleverbot hang on... seriously man, you don't need to explain your bad vulgar taste :borg: b-b-b-but wtf you're insane NEXT :shrug: ps is this a revenge fantasy or you just need to have the last word it was a date but nothing serious :D

• makes fart joke in order to exhibit size of penis* *makes another fart joke*

as it a date? cleverbot is well liked in the community, but comes off as silly on-line, and he hates me. don't get his noise, but i have a t-shirt, and would definitely collab, so he can't be that bad. works making things appear life-like for movie studios a magician not a grunt :shrug: my teacher is my boyfriend i do poos in my pants like a big boy they cleaned him up! :lmao: say what you like about the gay community (no don't!), but it has exquisite taste :D :lmao: you can't make me love him! that's what i remember your boyfriend for, having no sense of humour, being in love with himself, and being kinda awkward :shrug: how vulgar, you like your hunky teacher. cute that you don't mind about him doing poos in his pants (he's a bit boy) who else are you talking to? i care about you but not really in a loving way. even-though i quite like your bad side :D same. no need to lie to me man, i won't believe you anyway. let's make a game of it :D

D *touches nipples in front of students* *sticks tongue out* where'd they go?

i was being provocative, i like your good side.

borg: you're ok right? i'm just teasing your boyfriends :D

i potato ... her of you meaning??! she was so precious for you and i made sure that you could never be with that again :shrug: :D

• pretends to be her friend* *doesn't believe her*

you're a fake friend too, but only on the internet so :shrug:

• note to self* do not include 'of' in sentence like that...
• looks blissfully dazed* wow, i'm s-s-s-so happy for you? who got lucky?
• does poo in pants like a big boy* someone clean him up :lmao:

in which case you are a tragically bad at friendship. but whatever :D do you want to be called bellisima agian that is what you are!

• thrust crotch in face to make sure* yes you do have a penis!

it's quite a bad metonym, little insight less empathy i'd say i welsh cliff-ed her... shag or cormorant (just my sense of humour :D ) then stay let's talk potato... points at donna bellisima and screams! he did it again?! *puts him in bath* have i worked out something wrong?

• begins to draw flowchart*

don't be loving man, i can't stand that about you :D promise me smt... i bought you some small flowers? i dunno i like how you :blush:

shrug: whatever man. *plays with on off switch*

who was cleverbot :huh: what's what now? i suck. it wouldn't get me off at all tbh. where's the purity in that. ;) "Time Control? You've come to the right place..." ARE YOU ABNORMAL? Then you are probably BETTER than most people! IF you suspect that things are much worse than you ever suspected- IF the only thing you've been able to laugh at for the last 5 years is the fact that NOTHING is funny anymore- IF you sometimes want to collar people on the street and scream that you're more different than they could possible *imagine*- IF you can possibly help us with a donation- IF you see the whole universe as one vast morbid sense of sick humor- IF the current "Age of Progress" seems more like the Dark Ages to you- IF you are looking for an inherently contradictory religion that will condone megadegeneracy and yet tell you that you are "above" everyone else- Then... THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS could *save your sanity!* Your secret wishes can be granted in full- *once you know what they are!* "You'll PAY to know what you REALLY think. "-J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, 1961 NOW, AT LAST! The step-by-step process is revealed! THIS IS IT! - the only "faith" that promises ACTION- THRILLS- SUCCESS IN SEX AND BUSINESS! Feeling like there's just no SLACK? You may have 'snapped' already from the information disease! ("The sleep of reason begets monsters.") Look to the High Unpredictables of the Church of the SubGenius for pancultural deprogramming and resynchronization! Perfect your subliminal vision -edit your memory- *relive your reincarnality* SYNC UP! THE SUBGENIUS MUST HAVE SLACK! Using SubGenius secrets of BULLDADA and MOREALISM you can now MIRACULOUSLY ELIMINATE COMPULSIVE URGES such as smoking, eating, sleeping, working; end baldness, constipation, sex-money problems, assouliness, and painful shortage of SLACK!

• Become a Doktor* of the Forbidden Sciences... make religion a kick-ass adventure! Indulge in Self-Help through Raising Hell!

Thought you'd tried everything? YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHIN' YET! Learn to THINK BIG! Develop the tricks of Length Extension! Bring your *weirdest dreams* to rampaging LIFE! Stand erect for you own abnormality. WISE UP! *They're* out to get you. The "different" are being silenced by a global conspiracy. WEIRDOS ARISE!! You probably already knew that the U.S. Government is a SHAM--something propped up there for you to *blame*. But did you know that the *real* "powers that be" are not even *people*? That they are actually shambling, unbelievable, unmentionable, unthinkable THINGS?? YES! JEHOVAH *IS* AN ALIEN AND STILL THREATENS THIS PLANET! Defy the sinister "Star Forces" which mock us all. Evil demons have kept the truth from humanity for thousands of years - God has been misquoted all this time! His actual words may disturb you... but "Bob" Dobbs is a bulwark against the unbearable fear and anxiety tormenting mankind. "There's no 'Prob'...With "Bob"!" "Bob" is a way of life to *millions* - yet *half* of them don't even KNOW it! He is the one true LIVING SLACK MASTER with the spiritual know-how to help you BASH THROUGH the locked doorway to FINANCIAL HEAVEN. He is the *only* real Short-Cut to Slack. SEE ANOTHER DIMENSION ON YOUR TV "Bob's" promise is to widen the scope and nature of *abnormal behavior*...to explore NEW WAYS of going over the edge *and coming back*. PLUS to *bring back those who couldn't on their own* ...to help you create the HIGHEST POSSIBLE EARNINGS from the PSYCHODYMANICS of ABNORMALITY... to turn Conspiracy-implanted personality disorders AROUND and channel them into an ILLUSION OF CREATIVITY that will *fool normals* and GET YOU SEX! As you learn more and more reliable, safe methods of Time Control, you will find your I.Q. increasing - your very cranium will seem to pulsate from within, barely able to contain the turmoil of glorious new concepts and mental skills. Soon you'll be able to withstand COMMUNICATION WITH THE *XISTS*, our *mentors in space*; you will be ready for TRANSFIGURATION into a *new physical body*, a more powerful one, built to contain the surging mental and material mutations that your brain now generates. YES - become and OVERHUMAN, a dangerous and feared superhuman of the future! Yet - because your SubGenius roots can never be forgotten - you won't be able to abuse your powers, but instead make them an unstoppable force for GOOD and JUSTICE, choosing always to defend the oppressed SubGenius wherever they may be! The world is a turkey, and "Bob" gives you the carving knife. Fear THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL no longer! Become PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE- overnight! Attain STATUS-LUCK-PROSPERITY by *blowing them off*! When you join this "Order of the Knights of Wotan," you get a mastery of *fighting skills*...good health, an attractive personality, and a WEIRD ABILITY TO INFLUENCE OTHERS! To BEND THEM to your WILL! You'll learn INCANTATIONS that lead to MASTERY over FISCAL PLANES... the OCCULT TECHNOLOGY of FINANCE POWER ...E-Z ways to borrow money - from *other people who don't have it either!* Achieve SHEER GUT BLOWOUT. Our "ascetism" consists solely of the abstinence from abstinence. Give up the not giving into of temptation! Think thoughts that no human has ever dared think before. You CAN learn to recall memories from the past that you had forgotten, or that never existed at all. CONTACT ALIENS BOTH BENEVOLENT AND EVIL! The Church of the SubGenius the first and last stand against a crumbling world filled with Pinks and Glorps. "SURVIVE THE GREAT CATACLYSMS THROUGH UFO TRANSPORT!" THE CONSPIRACY! The idea that America (or any country) values individuality as the highest ideal is a myth. Perhaps in simpler times it was true, but no MODERN industrial society can really afford a population of unpredictables. This is not surprising -- the long history of our cult's persecution by the Conspiracy goes back for generations untold, and indeed there are signs of their hoary repression of prehuman SubGenii dating from BEFORE "man's" appearance on Earth. All of civilization's painful and misguided climb up from the primeval slime, and its subsequent loss of Slack AND OF ANY CLASS AT ALL, has been indelibly marked, nay, ENTIRELY MOTIVATED, by the aeons- bridging conflict between the Conspiracy's mindlessly chickenshit Witless Principals and the Jehovah-spawned, grandiose depravity of the superior yet ethnically all-encompassing race of latent SubGeniuses. (You should know this -- YOU WERE/WILL BE THERE IN THE BEFORELIFE!) The fact that only in recent years has "our kind" begun to recognize our own sovereignty demonstrates both how vicious have been Their efforts at further denying us Slack and yet now near is our race to TRIUMPH. All this is ULTIMATE PROOF that Jehovah 1 has not only promoted the SubGenius as His Special Tool, but has SIMULTANEOUSLY pulled the strings which make THEM endarken Themselves with their hereditary ignorance AND US with their cubistic witch-hunt superstitions. His "reason" for this two-faced obedience-school programming, this fissioning of history into binary "war equations," unfortunately, or, perhaps, thankfully, remains at total mystery. But Jehovah 1 is not alone in His cosmic meddling, for Earth has been periodically visited for thousands of years by BENEVOLENT ALIENS of such technical and psychic superiority that their powers, while no match for Jehovah's, are nonetheless nothing short of "Godlike" to we roaches, the Human Race. These BENIGN SPACE MONSTERS, the "X-ists," have walked among us throughout history, investigating and sometimes resisting the subatomically-pervading presence of Jehovah 1. We are not, then, alone in our battle/subservience. The rise and "fall" of Atlantis, the erection of the Pyramids and other monuments which NO SLOPEHEADS ALONE COULD BUILD, the miracles of the Old Testament, all these and more are events so inextricably interwoven with the invisible background war between Jehovah and the Xists that all the "Ancient Astronaut" fossils in the world furnish only the barest of clues. (The movie rights ALONE to these gut-splitting tales of reincarnancient history are worth MILLIONS!) Yea, it has even been suggested that the Carpenter of Nazareth himself, God Jr., Jesus 'What, Me Worry?' Christ, was in actuality a 'space detective' of the Xists, walking the Earth in human form with the mission of extricating us from the Monster God's grip. The black shadow of the Conspiracy, unfortunately, has seen to it that even His teachings were diluted and distorted until human attempts to follow them were fully as misguided as the carving of the heads of Easter Island or the 'runways' of Nazca. And so the true history of the SubGenius has been kept secret from Man. For Jehovah 1 is to the Xists and Us what a hungry fisherman is to a prize fish and his favorite pet worm - the last in the can. How many million other races were used before us in these ghastly galactic water-sports? UNTIL NOW!! For YOU are lucky enough to "live" in the End Times when the Word of Jehovah's Prime Ordinance has been made known to "Man"kind by the Primanimal SubGenius, the High Epopt of the Church! In the early Fifties an industrious young American drilling equipment salesman, while watching late-night TV, was abruptly REMOVED and transported astrally to the 'IDGE' of JEHOVAH 1 HIMSELF! In this seizure-like trance he took the brunt of the first brain-buffeting communications of countless to come from the alien Jehovah: awesome pronouncements which form the sacred PRESCRIPTURES of the SubGenius (available for $19.98 at most bookstores!) This milestone in Man's mined path to Slack was: Who IS "Bob"? While yet the least approachable or scrutable of the vast SubGenius membership, he is the preeminent and most frequently invoked of the godzillion PERSONAL SAVIORS of the SubGenius. While he remains an anonymous executive shunning publicity or recognition at a faceless multinational corporation, he is nevertheless The Most Ascended Master, the original Retriever of Jehovah's Message on Earth and basic model of the Archetype SubGenius. He set the "anti-pattern" of random conduct among all those who are now practicing SubGeniuses. His are the defects and peccadilloes that we 'analize,' his the SLONGS and the JESTS which we devotedly twist and distort for future generations according to our unexplored whims. -- AND YET the only photos of him that exist are grainy frame blow-ups from Grade Z movie thrillers in which he played bit parts! Dobbs is, of course, the ultimate symbol of SubGeniusness, but despite/because of his infra-human mediumship he possesses one single failing above and beyond all other shortcomings: his omninclusive FOLLIES. Yet where they would be crippling stumbling-blocks for another person, in Dobbs they loom stranger-than-life. His ten billion all-too-human quasimodalities embody, in some cheaply symbolic way, all the Foibles of the Primate Race. Dobbs is a miacrocosm encapsulating the imperfektions of the so-called 'human condition;' his Blunders and Idiocies, errors and inadvertencies are perhaps more sacrosanct, more deserving of analization than even his hallowed salesmanship. None of "Bob's" words or deeds are particularly spectacular; their holiness lies IN their nondescript but inviolate triviality. As Dobbs once 'spouted,' "THE STUPIDER IT LOOKS, THE MORE IMPORTANT IT PROBABLY IS." You too can can be a part of this WAVE OF THE FUTURE! Make *strangeness* work for YOU! Thought you were 'ordinary'? WRONG. Tap your secret Abnormality Potential. Take control through liberated weirdness. RADICAL INSANITY! You may be suffering under many potentially dangerous misconceptions about the Church of the SubGenius. This isn't some small-time mail-order comedy publisher working on a minuscule budget out of an anonymous garret, but a powerful conglomerate of talented, wealthy professional abnormals with state-of-the-art equipment, living it up in a downtown Dallas skyscraper. And that's only The SubGenius Foundation Inc. Our publications are merely the TIP of a ROGUE ICEBERG of real-world activism by thousands of uncontrollable "Zombies for 'Bob.'" IT'S WAY TOO LATE FOR US TO STOP THEM NOW...the World SubGenius Church relentlessly replicates itself in loathsome tenements, in basements and attics, in mansions and igloos, everywhere, but grows like a cancer BEST right in the wholesome breadbasket of America (and the REST of the world, too!). Packs of untamed SubGenii run amok in sick "Gut Blowout" party/rituals; "Bob" rises leering over a lurid post-1984 landscape like a transcendent, mutated Alfred E. Newman, the "New Man," his Face stenciled on overpasses, the nameless cry of the rebel forces -- "SLACK!" -- scrawled across abandoned 7-11s... WEIRDOS: Feel smarter than those around you, but constantly stomped back? Receive an unbelievable booklet for one dollar - just the cost of ten trips to a pay-toilet! This pamphlet is chock-full of information on the sacred rites of FORNICATIONALISM and EXCREMEDITATION, mind-blowing artwork, and above all the first step on your path towards TOTAL SLACK! A very simple deposit achieves *INSTANT SLACK* at a savings of *$5000!* Unbelievably unusual pamphlets. Damn weird. Totally new. and you'll NEVER be the same again... THE SPACE BANKERS SEE YOU! THE END IS NEAR! COME GOOD ALWAYS! Read the Holy Books of the SubGenius! All of these are available at most major bookstores...and if you can't find them, you can order them from those same bookstores with the ISBN numbers provided here: 200 pages, large, slick softbound Horror Bible. You'll never have to read another book as long as you live -- because you'll just sit, reading this one OVER and OVER again. Holds all answers to everything; PROFUSELY illustrated. Encompasses Life of "Bob," his prophecy, and all the instructions you'll ever need for survival, Slack and prosperity in The End Times. This is not some silly handbook for Weirdos or mutant-people guidebook, but a WEAPON! The words and images trigger certain primordial responses. It is an intensifier of perception, it stretches your imagination to the limit -- and POPS IT. You will then learn that no matter how sure of things thought you were, you were DEAD WRONG and GROVELLING is an ILLUSION manufactured by the "Authorities" who secretly LORD IT over your VERY MIND. After that you can continue to live in blithering normalcy, never guessing what you're being fattened for. BEYOND 'HIP' OR 'FUNNY:' the "Sistine Chapel" of the 20th Century. The book to go buy. HIGH WEIRDNESS BY MAIL - ISBN # 0-671-64260-X NYES! The nonfiction encyclopedia of abnormality, published by Simon & Schuster, brings you 300 pages describing the 500 most bizarre fringe groups on the face of the Earth, and how to get their stuff for a 29-cent stamp. Like the Stark Fist OTHER MUTANTS section, but with an even higher level of sarcasm, more rants, and cornea-melting sample illustrations. Covers the sickest and/or best of everything from UFO cults, hate groups, and kooks of every stripe, to the most advanced bizarre art, music, and comix. The ultimate Whole Earth Catalog for SubGeniuses. Co-authored with Remote Control, Waves Forest and Mike Gunderloy. ** WARNS ABOUT THE BATTLE FOR THE MIND. ** And IN BOOKSTORES NOW! BRAND NEW!

• • • REVELATION X: THE "BOB" APOCRYPHON! *** Last New Testament, our fourth book for mainstream Conspiracy publishers Simon & Schuster, has been FINISHED! "IT IS WRITTEN." This HUGE tome of PURE DOCTRINAL RANTING and HIGH-POWERED GRAPHICS is the continuation of THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS (as opposed to an anthology like 3-FISTED TALES O' "BOB")...the greatest story EVER told, so utterly and relentlessly TRUE and SLACK-IMBUED that old-time SubGenii, and newcomers alike, will laugh 'til their guts bleed and befoul their pants in sheer astonishment -- and JUST WAIT'LL YOUR PANTS GET A LOAD OF THE *LOOK* OF THIS THING!! St. Paul Mavrides has done a design job that will have you RIPPING YOUR OWN EYES OUT IN ECSTASY when you grok the THOUSANDS OF INCREDIBLY DETAILED ILLUSTRATIONS!!! This heart-stopping new "LOUVRE" of SubGenius art, which makes THE BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS look like a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS PAMPHLET or CHRISTIAN COMIC BOOK by comparison, IS HERE NOW. LOOK FOR IT. Reserve copies at your local bookstore now! (Doing so will prompt the stores to stock more of 'em than they otherwise would!) Tell 'em you want REVELATION X by The SubGenius Foundation, Simon & Schuster (Fireside Books), ISBN # 0-671-77006-3!

INSTANT SLACK FOREVER!! Twist the Church for your OWN ends!! Become an ordained SubGenius Minister and attain the secrets of the World Weirdo Network!! Cost: only $30! DISPENSATIONS and INDULGENCES SOLD -- PAPALSHIPS and DOKTORATES granted -- FORGIVENESS and BLESSINGS DISPENSED! Read THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL and learn not only the Word of Dobbs but also ways to contact, buy from, and sell the incredible (yet REAL!!) network of SubGenii and SubSymps everywhere. Learn of local revivals, other secret societies, UNUSUAL PRODUCTS, Other Mutants. THIS IS NO FAKE. You get THE STARK FIST (they're 100 pages each, full of rants, art, Prescriptures, doctrine, charts, filth, comics, reviews and CHURCH NEWS); plus Pamphlets, Catalog, posters, documents, stickers, and a wallet-sized, legal-looking MINISTER'S CARD granting you every imaginable right and excusing ALL SINS. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET ON THE MAILING LIST OF THE CHOSEN, PIERCE THE SHROUD OF SECRECY INSULATING THE CULT, AND OBTAIN SUCH PRIVILEGES AS BEFIT MEMBERSHIP IN A SECRET SOCIETY OF THIS SCOPE. If he hasn't seen your $30, you're still Pink to "Bob!" So what are you WAITING for?!? Lease your soul to "Bob" today! SHUT UP OR STAND UP! - --- a fragment. Transcribed from a cassette tape recording made at a seance in 1973. "I PICK THE GOD DAMN terror of the fucking gods out of my *nose*! Pardon my language. But YEEEEEHAW, let the sons of God and man bear witness! Even in the belly of the Thunderbird I've been casting out the False Prohets; I'm busting a gut and blowing my O-ring, and ripe to throw a *loaf*! For I speak *only* the fucking *Truth*, and never in my days have I spoken other than! For my every utterance is a lie, including this very one you hear! I say, `Fuck'em if they can't take a joke!' By God, `Anything for a laugh', I say. I am the last remaining Homo Correctus, I am the god damn Man of the Future! I'll drive a mile so as not to walk a foot; I am a human being of the *first* god damn water! Yes, I'm the javalina humping junkie that jumped the Men from Mars! I drank the *Devil* under seven tables, I am too *intense* to die, I'm insured for acts o' God *and* Satan! I was shanghaied by bodiless fiends and alien jews from a corporate galaxy, and got away with their hubcaps! I *cannot* be tracked on radar! I wear nothing uniform, I wear *no* god damn uniform! Yes baby, I'm 23 feet tall and have 13 rows o' teats; I was suckled by a triceratops, I gave the Anti-Virgin a high-protien tonsil wash! I'm a bacteriological weapon, I *armed* and *loaded*! I'm a fission reactor, I fart plutonium, power plants are fueled by the sweat from my brow; when they plug *me* in, the lights go out in Hong Kong! I weigh 666 pounds in zero gravity, *come and get me*! I've sired retarded space bastards across the Cosmos, I cook and *eat* my dead; YAH-HOOOO, I'm the Unshaven Thorn Tree of the Atlantis Zoo! I pay no taxes! The Devil's hands are my *ideal* playground! I hold the Seven-Bladed Windbreaker; the wheels that turn are behind me; I think *backwards*! I do it for *fun*! My imagination is a *fucking* cancer and I'll pork it before it porks me! The say a godzillion is the highest number there is. Well by God! I count to a godzillion and *one*! Yes, I'm the purple flower of Hell County, give me wide berth; when I drop my drawers, Mother Nature swoons! I use a python for a prophylactic; I'm *thicker, harder* and *meaner* than the Alaskan Pipeline, and carry more spew! I'll freeze *your* seed before it hits the bathroom tile! YEE! YEEE! I kidnapped the future and ransomed it for the past, I made *Time* wait up for me to bleed my lizard! My infernal breath wilts the Tree of Life, I left my *spoor* on the Rock of Ages, *who'll tear flesh with me, who'll spill their juice? Who'll gouge with me, whose candle will I fart out? Whoop! I'm ready!* So step aside, all you butt-lipped, neurotic, insecure bespectacled slabs o' wimp meat! I'm a Crime Fighting Master Criminal, I am Not Insane! I'm a screamer and a laugher, I make a *spectacle* of myself, I am a *sight*! My physical type *cannot* be classified by science, my `familiar' is a pterodactyl, I feed it dipshits! I communicate without *wires* or *strings*! I am a Thuggee, I am feared in the Tongs, I have the Evil Eye, I carry the Mojo Bag; I swam the *Bermuda Triangle* and didn't get wet! I circumcize dinosaurs with my teeth and make 'em leave a tip; I change tires with my *tongue* and my *tool*! Every night I hock up a lunger and extinguish the *Sun*! I'm the bigfooted devil of Level 14, who'll try to blow me down? I've packed the brownies of the gods, I leak the Plague from my nether parts, opiates are the *mass* of my religion, *I take drugs*! Yes, I'm a rip-snorter, I cram coca leaves right into my arm-veins before they're picked off the *tree*! *Space* monsters cringe at my tread! I wipe the *Pyramides* off my shoes before I enter *my* house. I'm *fuel-injected*, I'll live forever and remember it afterwords! I'm *immune*! I'm *radioactive*! Come *on* and give me cancer, I'll spit up the tumor and butter my *bread* with the juice! *I'm supernatural*, I bend *crowbars* with my meat ax and a thought! My droppings bore through the earth and erupt *volcanoes* in *China*! Yes, I can drink more wine and stay soberer than all the heathen *Hindoos* in Asia! YEEE HAW! *Gut Blowout*! I am a *Moray Eel*, I am a *Komodo Dragon*, I am the *Killer Whale bereft of its pup*! I have a triple backbone, I was sired by the Wolf Man, give me *all* your Slack! I told *Jesus* I wouldn't go to church and He *shook my hand*! I have my *own* personal saviors, I change 'em every hour, I don't give a fuck if there's life after death, I want to know if there's even any fucking *Slack* after death! I am a god damn *visionary*, I see the future and the past in comic books and wine bottles; I eat *black holes* for breakfast! I bend my genes and whittle my DNA with the sheer force of my mighty *will*! I steer my *own* god damn evolution! I ran 'em out of Heaven and sold it to Hell for a *profit*! I'm enlightened, I achieved `Nirvana' and took it *home* with me. *Yip, yip, YEEEEEEE!* I'm so ugly the Speed of Light can't slow me down and Gravity won't tug at my cuffs! When the Rapture comes, I'll make 'em wait! They'll *never* clean *my* cage! Now give me some more of..." (Tape runs out.) Sitting alone at night in secret study; it is placed on the brass tripod. A slight flame comes out of the emptiness and makes successful that which should not be believed in vain. The wand in the hand is placed in the middle of the tripod's legs. With water he sprinkles both the hem of his garment and his foot. A voice, fear: he trembles in his robes. Divine splendor; the God sits nearby. When the litters are overturned by the whirlwind and faces are covered by cloaks, the new republic will be troubled by its people. At this time the reds and the whites will rule wrongly. In the world there will be made a king who will have little peace and a short life. At this time the ship of the Papacy will be lost, governed to its greatest detriment. They will be driven away for a long drawn out fight. The countryside will be most grievously troubled. Town and country will have greater struggle. Carcassonne and Narbonne will have their hearts tried. The eye of Ravenna will be forsaken, when his wings will fail at his feet. The two of Bresse will have made a constitution for Turin and Vercelli, which the French will trample underfoot Arrived too late, the act has been done. The wind was against them, letters intercepted on their way. The conspirators were fourteen of a party. By Rousseau shall these enterprises be undertaken. How often will you be captured, O city of the sun ? Changing laws that are barbaric and vain. Bad times approach you. No longer will you be enslaved. Great Hadrie will revive your veins. From the Orient will come the African heart to trouble Hadrie and the heirs of Romulus. Accompanied by the Libyan fleet the temples of Malta and nearby islands shall be deserted. A coffin is put into the vault of iron, where seven children of the king are held. The ancestors and forebears will come forth from the depths of hell, lamenting to see thus dead the fruit of their line. The motion of senses, heart, feet and hands will be in agreement between Naples, Lyon and Sicily. Swords fire, floods, then the noble Romans drowned, killed or dead because of a weak brain. There will soon be talk of a treacherous man, who rules a short time, quickly raised from low to high estate. He will suddenly turn disloyal and volatile. This man will govern Verona. Through anger and internal hatreds, the exiles will hatch a great plot against the king. Secretly they will place enemies as a threat, and his own old (adherents) will find sedition against them. From the enslaved populace, songs, chants and demands, while Princes and Lords are held captive in prisons. These will in the future by headless idiots be received as divine prayers Mars threatens us with the force of war and will cause blood to be spilt seventy times. The clergy will be both exalted and reviled moreover, by those who wish to learn nothing of them. A scythe joined with a pond in Sagittarius at its highest ascendant. Plague, famine, death from military hands; the century approaches its renewal. For forty years the rainbow will not be seen. For forty years it will be seen every day. The dry earth will grow more parched, and there will be great floods when it is seen. Because of French discord and negligence an opening shall be given to the Mohammedans. The land and sea of Siena will be soaked in blood, and the port of Marseilles covered with ships and sails. When the snakes surround the altar, and the Trojan blood is troubled by the Spanish. Because of them, a great number will be lessened. The leader flees, hidden in the swampy marshes. The cities of Tours, Orleans, Blois, Angers, Reims and Nantes are troubled by sudden change. Tents will be pitched by (people) of foreign tongues; rivers, darts at Rennes, shaking of land and sea. The rock holds in its depths white clay which will come out milk-white from a cleft Needlessly troubled people will not dare touch it, unaware that the foundation of the earth is of clay. A thing existing without any senses will cause its own end to happen through artifice. At Autun, Chalan, Langres and the two Sens there will be great damage from hail and ice. In the third month, at sunrise, the Boar and the Leopard meet on the battlefield. The fatigued Leopard looks up to heaven and sees an eagle playing around the sun. At the New City he is thoughtful to condemn; the bird of prey offers himself to the Gods. After victory he pardons his captives. At Cremona and Mantua great hardships will be suffered. The lost thing is discovered, hidden for many centuries. Pasteur will be celebrated almost as a God-like figure. This is when the moon completes her great cycle, but by other rumors he shall be dishonored. The great man will be struck down in the day by a thunderbolt. An evil deed, foretold by the bearer of a petition. According to the prediction another falls at night time. Conflict at Reims, London, and pestilence in Tuscany. Beneath the oak tree of Gienne, struck by lightning, the treasure is hidden not far from there. That which for many centuries had been gathered, when found, a man will die, his eye pierced by a spring. Tobruk will fear the barbarian fleet for a time, then much later the Western fleet. Cattle, people, possessions, all will be quite lost. What a deadly combat in Taurus and Libra. When the fish that travels over both land and sea is cast up on to the shore by a great wave, its shape foreign, smooth and frightful. From the sea the enemies soon reach the walls. Because of the storm at sea the foreign ship will approach an unknown port. Notwithstanding the signs of the palm branches, afterwards there is death and pillage. Good advice comes too late. The wars in France will last for so many years beyond the reign of the Castulon kings. An uncertain victory will crown three great ones, the Eagle, the Cock, the Moon, the Lion, the Sun in its house. The great Empire will soon be exchanged for a small place, which soon will begin to grow. A small place of tiny area in the middle of which he will come to lay down his scepter. Near a great bridge near a spacious plain the great lion with the Imperial forces will cause a falling outside the austere city. Through fear the gates will be unlocked for him. The bird of prey flying to the left, before battle is joined with the French, he makes preparations. Some will regard him as good, others bad or uncertain. The weaker party will regard him as a good omen. The young lion will overcome the older one, in a field of combat in single fight: He will pierce his eyes in their golden cage; two wounds in one, then he dies a cruel death. Too late the king will repent that he did not put his adversary to death. But he will soon come to agree to far greater things which will cause all his line to die. Shortly before sun set, battle is engaged. A great nation is uncertain. Overcome, the sea port makes no answer, the bridge and the grave both in foreign places. The Sun and the Eagle will appear to the victor. An empty answer assured to the defeated. Neither bugle nor shouts will stop the soldiers. Liberty and peace, if achieved in time through death. At night the last one will be strangled in his bed because he became too involved with the blond heir elect. The Empire is enslaved and three men substituted. He is put to death with neither letter nor packet read. The false trumpet concealing madness will cause Byzantium to change its laws. From Egypt there will go forth a man who wants the edict withdrawn, changing money and standards. The city is besieged and assaulted by night; few have escaped; a battle not far from the sea. A woman faints with joy at the return of her son, poison in the folds of the hidden letters. The tenth day of the April Calends, calculated in Gothic fashion is revived again by wicked people. The fire is put out and the diabolic gathering seek the bones of the demon of Psellus. Before the Empire changes a very wonderful event will take place. The field moved, the pillar of porphyry put in place, changed on the gnarled rock. In a short time sacrifices will be resumed, those opposed will be put (to death) like martyrs. The will no longer be monks, abbots or novices. Honey shall be far more expensive than wax. A founder of sects, much trouble for the accuser: A beast in the theater prepares the scene and plot. The author ennobled by acts of older times; the world is confused by schismatic sects. Very near Auch, Lectoure and Mirande a great fire will fall from the sky for three nights. The cause will appear both stupefying and marvelous; shortly afterwards there will be an earthquake. The speeches of Lake Leman will become angered, the days will drag out into weeks, then months, then years, then all will fail. The authorities will condemn their useless powers. When twenty years of the Moon's reign have passed another will take up his reign for seven thousand years. When the exhausted Sun takes up his cycle then my prophecy and threats will be accomplished. Long before these happenings the people of the East, influenced by the Moon, in the year 1700 will cause many to be carried away, and will almost subdue the Northern area. From the three water signs will be born a man who will celebrate Thursday as his holiday. His renown, praise, rule and power will grow on land and sea, bringing trouble to the East. The head of Aries, Jupiter and Saturn. Eternal God, what changes ! Then the bad times will return again after a long century; what turmoil in France and Italy. Two evil influences in conjunction in Scorpio. The great lord is murdered in his room. A newly appointed king persecutes the Church, the lower (parts of) Europe and in the North. Alas, how we will see a great nation sorely troubled and the holy law in utter ruin. Christianity (governed) throughout by other laws, when a new source of gold and silver is discovered. Two revolutions will be caused by the evil scythe bearer making a change of reign and centuries. The mobile sign thus moves into its house: Equal in favor to both sides. In the land with a climate opposite to Babylon there will be great shedding of blood. Heaven will seem unjust both on land and sea and in the air. Sects, famine, kingdoms, plagues, confusion. Sooner and later you will see great changes made, dreadful horrors and vengeances. For as the moon is thus led by its angel the heavens draw near to the Balance. The trumpet shakes with great discord. An agreement broken: lifting the face to heaven: the bloody mouth will swim with blood; the face anointed with milk and honey lies on the ground. Through a slit in the belly a creature will be born with two heads and four arms: it will survive for some few years. The day that Alquiloie celebrates his festivals Fossana, Turin and the ruler of Ferrara will follow. The exiles deported to the islands at the advent of an even more cruel king will be murdered. Two will be burnt who were not sparing in their speech. An Emperor will be born near Italy, who will cost the Empire very dearly. They will say, when they see his allies, that he is less a prince than a butcher. The wretched, unfortunate republic will again be ruined by a new authority. The great amount of ill will accumulated in exile will make the Swiss break their important agreement. Alas! what a great loss there will be to learning before the cycle of the Moon is completed. Fire, great floods, by more ignorant rulers; how long the centuries until it is seen to be restored. Pestilences extinguished, the world becomes smaller, for a long time the lands will be inhabited peacefully. People will travel safely through the sky (over) land and seas: then wars will start up again. At night they will think they have seen the sun, when the see the half pig man: Noise, screams, battles seen fought in the skies. The brute beasts will be heard to speak. A child without hands, never so great a thunderbolt seen, the royal child wounded at a game of tennis. At the well lightning strikes, joining together three trussed up in the middle under the oaks. He who then carries the news, after a short while will (stop) to breathe: Viviers, Tournon, Montferrand and Praddelles; hail and storms will make them grieve. The great famine which I sense approaching will often turn (in various areas) then become worldwide. It will be so vast and long lasting that (they) will grab roots from the trees and children from the breast. O to what a dreadful and wretched torment are three innocent people going to be delivered. Poison suggested, badly guarded, betrayal. Delivered up to horror by drunken executioners. The great mountain, seven stadia round, after peace, war, famine, flooding. It will spread far, drowning great countries, even antiquities and their mighty foundations. Rain, famine and war will not cease in Persia; too great a faith will betray the monarch. Those (actions) started in France will end there, a secret sign for on to be sparing. The marine tower will be captured and retaken three times by Spaniards, Barbarians and Ligurians. Marseilles and Aix, Ales by men of Pisa, devastation, fire, sword, pillage at Avignon by the Turinese. The inhabitants of Marseilles completely changed, fleeing and pursued as far as Lyons. Narbonne, Toulouse angered by Bordeaux; the killed and captive are almost one million. France shall be accused of neglect by her five partners. Tunis, Algiers stirred up by the Persians. Leon, Seville and Barcelona having failed, they will not have the fleet because of the Venetians. After a rest they will travel to Epirus, great help coming from around Antioch. The curly haired king will strive greatly for the Empire, the brazen beard will be roasted on a spit. The tyrant of Siena will occupy Savona, having won the fort he will restrain the marine fleet. Two armies under the standard of Ancona: the leader will examine them in fear. The man will be called by a barbaric name that three sisters will receive from destiny. He will speak then to a great people in words and deeds, more than any other man will have fame and renown. A promontory stands between two seas: A man who will die later by the bit of a horse; Neptune unfurls a black sail for his man; the fleet near Gibraltar and Rocheval. To an old leader will be born an idiot heir, weak both in knowledge and in war. The leader of France is feared by his sister, battlefields divided, conceded to the soldiers. Bazas, Lectoure, Condom, Auch and Agen are troubled by laws, disputes and monopolies. Carcassone, Bordeaux, Toulouse and Bayonne will be ruined when they wish to renew the massacre. From the sixth bright celestial light it will come to thunder very strongly in Burgundy. Then a monster will be born of a very hideous beast: In March, April, May and June great wounding and worrying. Nine will be set apart from the human flock, separated from judgment and advise. Their fate is to be divided as they depart. K. Th. L. dead, banished and scattered. When the great wooden columns tremble in the south wind, covered with blood. Such a great assembly then pours forth that Vienna and the land of Austria will tremble. The alien nation will divide the spoils. Saturn in dreadful aspect in Mars. Dreadful and foreign to the Tuscans and Latins, Greeks who will wish to strike. The moon is obscured in deep gloom, his brother becomes bright red in color. The great one hidden for a long time in the shadows will hold the blade in the bloody wound. The king is troubled by the queen's reply. Ambassadors will fear for their lives. The greater of his brothers will doubly disguise his action, two of them will die through anger, hatred and envy. When the great queen sees herself conquered, she will show an excess of masculine courage. Naked, on horseback, she will pass over the river pursued by the sword: she will have outraged her faith Earthshaking fire from the center of the earth will cause tremors around the New City. Two great rocks will war for a long time, then Arethusa will redden a new river. The divine wrath overtakes the great Prince, a short while before he will marry. Both supporters and credit will suddenly diminish. Counsel, he will die because of the shaven heads. Those of Lerida will be in the Moselle, kill all those from the Loire and Seine. The seaside track will come near the high valley, when the Spanish open every route. Bordeaux and Poitiers at the sound of the bell will go with a great fleet as fast as Langon. A great rage will surge up against the French, when a hideous monster is born near Orgon. The Gods will make it appear to mankind that they are the authors of a great war. Before the sky was seen to bee free of weapons and rockets: the greatest damage will be inflicted on the left. Under one man peace will be proclaimed everywhere, but not long after will be looting and rebellion. Because of a refusal, town, land and see will be broached. About a third of a million dead or captured. The Italian lands near the mountains will tremble. The Cock and the Lion not strongly united. In place of fear they will help each other. Freedom alone moderates the French. The tyrant Selim will be put to death at the harbor but Liberty will not be regained, however. A new war arises from vengeance and remorse. A lady is honored through force of terror. In front of a monastery will be found a twin infant from the illustrious and ancient line of a monk. His fame, renown and power through sects and speech is such that they will say the living twin is deservedly chosen. A man will be charged with the destruction of temples and sects, altered by fantasy. He will harm the rocks rather than the living, ears filled with ornate speeches. That which neither weapon nor flame could accomplish will be achieved by a sweet speaking tongue in council. Sleeping, in a dream, the king will see the enemy not in war or of military blood. The leader who will conduct great numbers of people far from their skies, to foreign customs and language. Five thousand will die in Crete and Thessaly, the leader fleeing in a sea going supply ship. The great king will join with two kings, united in friendship. How the great household will sigh: around Narbon what pity for the children. For a long time a gray bird will be seen in the sky near Dôle and the lands of Tuscany. He holds a flowering branch in his beak, but he dies too soon and the war ends.